A primary pattern I’ve facing, and have been facing for some time, is the point of stopping postponement of the actions I see are required to be taken, and that I in fact have the ability to take, to establish an effective income for myself so that I have the support I need to be able to really do what I see I could do with my life. At this stage my priority option for an effective income is the business I am involved in. However within this business point I am faced with the all the points where I have experienced the most resistance and fears in my life. In order to build my business, I have to step outside of my comfort zone.
This presents a challenge because throughout my life whenever I’d be faced with stepping outside of my comfort zone into things I’ve not done before, I will immediately access fear of failure and experience a resistance, and my motivation will drop and I will feel like I just can’t move myself to take the next step, and I’ll end up passing up opportunities and staying in my comfort zone.
This ends up not being a cool thing at all, because with each point where I don’t take an opportunity, don’t push myself through a resistance, don’t push through the fear of failure and I end up deciding to stick with my comfort zone, I start to accumulate frustration and a feeling of powerlessness. And, the reason I have this experience is because I in fact see that I have the potential to do more, to become more, to expand myself outside of my comfort zone and I see that, if I were to do this consistently – to live without fear, to live fully, to fully go for it whenever an opportunity opens up, I would actually be satisfied, because – I wouldn’t be suppressing myself. The fact is, when I give in to a resistance, to a fear of failure, and I stay in my comfort zone — I am suppressing myself. I am not allowing myself to live. And, what happens is that any small comfort and relief I get from moments where I ‘avoid my fear of failure’ by not ‘going for it’ — really doesn’t last and really is not worth it. And what ends up happening is that I start to accumulate more and more frustration, which turns to resentment and anger, where I’ll become spiteful within myself, blaming ‘things’ for being the way they are, and telling myself it’s not fair that I must be in this position where I have to do things I would rather not do, in order to reach my potential and establish an effective life.
I my next post I’ll continue opening up this point.