Continuing from Day 351: Living Equality in Daily Life – Part 2
The key here in terms of the word Equality, is that I realized that I was wanting my partner to do things the way I do things, because ‘since it worked for me, then it will work for you’. But within this what I did not take into account is that hey – my partner is NOT ME. My partner is DIFFERENT! They are a different person, with a different background, different mind, different temperament, different expression, different skills, different strengths and weaknesses, and they have a different relationship with themselves which – I do not fully see and understand.
I realized that I was wanting my partner to ‘be equal to me’ — instead of learning to live as an equal with my partner, accepting that they are different, and that what works for me might not work for them at all, and that I need to take responsibility to be patient and get to know my partner better as a being — and that to do this, I can’t judge they ways in which they are different from me.
Here are Self Forgiveness statements in continuation from the previous post:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want others to be equal to me / how I am / my particular expression / the way I approach things / my point of view, and to believe that if I were to embrace, walk with, and adapt myself to another’s differences, that would mean I am ‘not being true to myself’, and that I would be ‘compromising myself’
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I started my last relationship / agreement, want to rush into pushing and helping and supporting my partner to change themselves within points of emotion, reaction, and resistance, because I had accepted and allowed myself to have the idea that a relationship means that both partners will become ‘the same’, and do things the same way
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to walk into a relationship from the starting point of wanting another to be like me, in terms of what I see as my strengths and points where I am effective
Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to define myself according to what I see as my strengths and points where I am effective, and to not realize that in creating a relationship with someone, living with someone, the dynamic of daily life will not be the same as when I live alone, and that I don’t know right in the beginning what will be effective in terms of working with practical daily life points with another person, but that I will have to be flexible, adaptable, patient, and willing to change and expand my point of view about what is effective, what is the right way to do things, as I get to know the other person – which cannot be rushed, as getting to know another person as who they are inside and out, takes time
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when my partner would not overcome particular resistances and fears the same way and pace that I would, to interpret my impatience experience as meaning that ‘I am waiting for my partner to catch up to me’, and to within this accept and allow myself to try and force / push them to change and do things the way I do them / at the pace I do them, instead of seeing and realizing that I created my own impatience through comparing myself to my partner and judging the way they work with certain points within themselves
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to sabotage the development of trust, openness, sharing, and intimacy with my partner, through accepting and allowing myself to judge their differences instead of taking responsibility to learn to walk with my partner and their differences, and to within that trust myself that – when and as an opportunity opens up to support, give perspective, share – I will move myself in self expression — and realizing that this will not be an action moved by / directed by an experience of impatience, reaction, or judgment
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize that supporting another to live their utmost potential starts with getting to know who they are, how they are – in depth, without judging, comparing, desiring, or fearing that they will or will not change
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to, when I began my last relationship, not be thorough in taking responsibility for any thoughts, reactions, judgments, desires, and fears that came up in relation to my partner, how they are, the ways they are different from me, and to accept and allow these experiences to influence and shape the way I interacted with my partner, which led eventually to consequence in the form of conflict, and me blaming my partner
Self commitment statements to follow in the next post.
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