Hacking Relationships: Humbleness within Hearing Another’s Input, Suggestions, and Criticism


Don’t assume a person’s words are “not valid” just because they are “less qualified”, or “less experienced” than you.

You don’t have anything to lose by unconditionally considering and testing their input, suggestions, and perspectives.

We don’t always see every dimension of an issue ourselves and we’re not always as experienced as we think we are.

As I was typing out the words for this image it flowed very easily, like I’m stating something so obvious. But I have to say LOL because it took me quite a journey to arrive at the above words. I’ve had to face many moments of consequence in the form of reacting to the input of another, judging them, dismissing them, going into righteousness or superiority or some such Ego point. Each time this has happened and I later reflected on the moment, I would find that I was holding onto some Definition of myself in relation to how I do something, or what I believe is the most effective way, etc. Granted yes – sometimes we do see the more effective way, but the point I found is that whenever I experience any kind of reaction of defensiveness or righteousness, or feeling like I’m being invalidated in some way and I end up speaking as that reaction, or deciding to for instance disregard the other’s input — I end up closing myself off / shrinking / contracting / remaining within ONLY MY definitions. And I would say that “by definition” anytime we are unwilling to re-evaluate our definitions, we are closing ourselves off from Self Expansion, from the Opportunity to Learn, Grow, and see NEW dimensions of ourselves or of a point.

As an artist and musician, over the years I’ve learned that being willing to be open to another’s suggestions and even try and test them out, means I always benefit. Because at the very least I can cross reference what I believe to be best against another’s perspective, to determine if it is in fact the best way.

Again, I didn’t just ‘realize all this’ in some enlightened moment. Nope. It took a lot of Self Honest self reflection, writing, Self Forgiveness, and also redefining what certain words mean to me like: Input, Criticism, Learning, Hearing, Listening, Expanding. So, within that process I uncovered memories and past events that had shaped my relationship to the scenario of “receiving suggestions, criticism, input” from others. Once I worked through those past events I was able to look at this scenario with fresh eyes = a fresh “I” – and change Who I Am within it, in a way that is not only best for Me – but also best for all involved in such exchanges, because if I’m not reacting and judging, then I won’t speak in reaction and potentially compromise my relationship with that person.

Thanks for reading.

Investigate the Desteni I Process.

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